Today I retired.
It’s May 20th, and for the first time in nearly 47 years, I’m ending my day without the weight of tomorrow’s work sitting in the back of my mind.
No meetings to prepare for.
No deadlines waiting for me in the morning.
No inbox full of requests that need my attention.
Today, I retired.
After 19 years in the same organization — building systems, solving problems, supporting people, and living inside the rhythm of corporate life — I walked out the door for the last time.
And now, sitting here in the quiet of my home, I’m trying to understand what this moment really means.
Today, I retired.
But it didn’t feel like an ending. It felt like a shift. Retirement is one of those things I had imagined for years. I thought I will be very emotional on retirement day. I pictured a dramatic exit, a wave of relief, or maybe even fear.
But when it finally arrives, it’s quieter than I expected. More personal. More internal.
The Last Day
Today, I retired.
My final day at work wasn’t dramatic. There were no speeches, no big send‑offs, no emotional montages of my career. It was exactly how I wanted it.
I had decided that I will not send the traditional email that one sends hours before the exit. Instead, I reached out to individuals with whom I had built relationships over the past two decades.
We reminisced, we cried sometimes, and we wished each other the best in life.
Simple. Human. Real.
Nineteen years is a long time to spend anywhere. Long enough that the job becomes part of your identity. Long enough that you stop noticing how much of your life is shaped by it — the routines, the habits, the way you think about time.
But,
Today, I retired.
Every time I did something today, I told myself: “This is the last time I’ll ever do this.”
The last time I’ll dress for work.
The last time I will carry my lunch bag to the office. T
The last time, my wife will drop me off at the office.
The last time, I will walk around the building.
The last time, I’ll log into the system.
The last time I’ll answer a work email.
The last time I’ll be responsible for anything that happens tomorrow.
Today, I retired.
It was surreal. But also freeing.
Letting Go
Today, I retired.
I thought it will be like crossing a finish line. But it’ was not.
It felt more like a transition. I was left with a lot of questions, emotions, and unexpected realizations.
Today, I felt a mix of:
- relief
- gratitude
- nostalgia
- excitement
- and yes, a little fear
Not fear of money. Not fear of boredom. Not fear of losing relevance.
It was the fear of stepping into a version of myself I haven’t met yet.
For decades, my days were shaped by work. Now, I get to shape them myself.
Letting go of the structure of work means learning to build a new one.
Letting go of a professional identity means rediscovering a personal one.
What I’m Looking Forward To
Today, I retired.
Despite the uncertainty, I feel a deep sense of excitement.
I’m excited about slow mornings — the kind where I can make coffee, sit by the window, and actually taste it.
I’m excited about running and walking without having to squeeze it somewhere in my day.
Training for the Victoria Half Marathon feels different now. It feels like something I’m doing for me, not something I’m fitting into a busy life.
I’m excited about reading again — not in short bursts before bed, but for hours. Books I’ve been saving. Books that shaped me. Books that will shape this next chapter.
I’m excited about travel. About Asia. About India. About slow travel — the kind where you stay long enough to learn the rhythm of a place.
And I’m excited about documenting this journey.
Not as a polished “retirement expert,” but as someone living it in real time.
What I’m Afraid Of
Today, I retired.
And, I feel fear.
I am afraid of losing structure.
I’ve lived by calendars and deadlines for decades.
Now I have to build my own.
I’m afraid of drifting.
Of letting days blur together.
Of losing momentum.
I’m also afraid of the identity shift. When I’m no longer “the person who works at ___.”
But maybe that’s the point.
Maybe retirement is the chance to rebuild my identity from the inside out — not based on a job title, but on who I am really.
Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash
A New Chapter Begins
Today, I retired.
And here I am, on the night of my retirement, feeling a mix of emotions I can’t fully describe.
But I’m ready.
I’m ready to slow down.
I’m ready to explore.
I’m ready to learn, to grow, to reinvent, to live differently.
Today, I retired.
And I’m ready to share this journey — the honest version, not the brochure version.
If you’re retired, almost retired, or just curious about what this stage of life feels like, I hope you’ll follow along.
This isn’t just my story.
It’s something many of us will face, and something we can explore together.
Today, I retired.
This is the beginning. And I’m grateful you’re here for it.
